The Huns and the Buns (and the cake)

There once was an army of Huns

Who continually ate hot cross buns

They said, “Don’t think it wrong

For this keeps us strong

It’s a tip that we got from some nuns.”

They went into battle one day

To a country not too far away

They had wagons and tents

And they thought it made sense

But they hadn’t intended to stay.

They travelled by day, slept by night

And were just getting ready to fight

When the chief heard some news

As he tied up his shoes

Which gave him a terrible fright.

The sergeant who looked after food

Said “Excuse me if I appear rude

But the blacksmith’s young sons

Just ate all the buns

And the horses still haven’t been shoed”

The Chief said, “Oh what’s to be done?

The battle has hardly begun

We can manage, of course,

With old shoes on each horse,

But each of our men needs a bun.”

He said “Quickly go find our best man

And send him as part of my plan

Into the next village

And tell him to pillage

As many new buns as he can.”

The soldier set off straight away

For he knew there could be no delay

With the baker he pleaded

That more buns would be needed

and baked by the end of the day.

The baker stopped working and said

Very slowly as he scratched his bald head

“You’re too late I fear

It’s the wrong time of year

This season I’m just baking bread.

Hot Cross Buns are for Easter you see

And I know they are nice as can be

But it’s nearly July

And as hard as I try

My customers like jam tarts for tea.”

The soldier went back with his cart

To where the Huns were all ready to start.

“No buns I’m afraid

I know you’re dismayed

But perhaps you would like a jam tart.”

Then a young man called Will raised his hand

Saying “here’s something else I have planned

My Gran’s a great cook

Without using a book

And she makes the best cakes in the land.”

So they went for Will’s Granny, they say

And she joined them to bake, the next day

And although it seems strange

The Huns made a change

And now eat chocolate cake every day

William Edmonds

(Wow... brilliant William, thank you!!! I was thinking about saving it for July (and maybe it will have to be put in July when we make the book) but it was such fun and showed that long poems are wanted/needed/appreciated too that I just had to post it... Also, William, that is a big hurrah for the students... come on, send us yer poems - you know you want to).