There once was an army of Huns
Who continually ate hot cross buns
They said, “Don’t think it wrong
For this keeps us strong
It’s a tip that we got from some nuns.”
They went into battle one day
To a country not too far away
They had wagons and tents
And they thought it made sense
But they hadn’t intended to stay.
They travelled by day, slept by night
And were just getting ready to fight
When the chief heard some news
As he tied up his shoes
Which gave him a terrible fright.
The sergeant who looked after food
Said “Excuse me if I appear rude
But the blacksmith’s young sons
Just ate all the buns
And the horses still haven’t been shoed”
The Chief said, “Oh what’s to be done?
The battle has hardly begun
We can manage, of course,
With old shoes on each horse,
But each of our men needs a bun.”
He said “Quickly go find our best man
And send him as part of my plan
Into the next village
And tell him to pillage
As many new buns as he can.”
The soldier set off straight away
For he knew there could be no delay
With the baker he pleaded
That more buns would be needed
and baked by the end of the day.
The baker stopped working and said
Very slowly as he scratched his bald head
“You’re too late I fear
It’s the wrong time of year
This season I’m just baking bread.
Hot Cross Buns are for Easter you see
And I know they are nice as can be
But it’s nearly July
And as hard as I try
My customers like jam tarts for tea.”
The soldier went back with his cart
To where the Huns were all ready to start.
“No buns I’m afraid
I know you’re dismayed
But perhaps you would like a jam tart.”
Then a young man called Will raised his hand
Saying “here’s something else I
have planned
My Gran’s a great cook
Without using a book
And she makes the best cakes in the land.”
So they went for Will’s Granny, they say
And she joined them to bake, the next day
And although it seems strange
The Huns made a change
And now eat chocolate cake every day
William Edmonds
(Wow... brilliant William, thank you!!! I was thinking about saving it for July (and maybe it will have to be put in July when we make the book) but it was such fun and showed that long poems are wanted/needed/appreciated too that I just had to post it... Also, William, that is a big hurrah for the students... come on, send us yer poems - you know you want to).